Guilt
by MayFairy
Summary: Set during Let's Kill Hitler. The voice interface didn't just take the form of the three human women, it took the form of many others, including the forms of a Time Lady that the Doctor had loved a long time ago, and couldn't bear to look at now...


**So after watching Let's Kill Hitler, one of my main problems with it was the fact that only Rose, Martha and Donna appeared on the voice interface. Why not any of the other companions? They had no trouble showing them on the scanner in that deleted scene...**

**So, this is exploring the idea of if other companions had been shown, with emphasis on one in particular...yes, it might be a slightly pointless idea, but I couldn't let it go.**

**Mentions of: Romana I, Romana II, Leela, Adric, Barbara, Peri, Susan and Ace. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The Doctor lay against the railing of the TARDIS, staring at the hologram of Rose.<p>

He protested as he felt guilt swell in him, and the feeling did not vanish when the hologram changed to mimic Martha instead.

When it changed again to take the form of Donna, the guilt doubled over and over…wonderful, loud, caring Donna, forced never to remember him…

"More guilt!" He told the TARDIS.

The hologram changed again, to one that made his hearts pang more painfully than all the others put together.

The woman now shown in the hologram was a great beauty, the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She wore a long white dress, and her dark curls tumbled gracefully down her shoulders. Her dark eyes watched him with a seriousness that had not been uncommon in reality.

The woman who had been the first to truly capture his hearts.

"Romana…" He gasped, staring as his eyes filled with tears. "Why would you show me her?" He demanded with devastation.

His green eyes fixed on her face, that beautiful face that had so readily reprimanded him, had always been so sure of being superior and correct, the face that had come to hold friendliness and compassion as well, due to his influence.

He had always wanted her, even then, but it hadn't been until she regenerated that he had finally had a move, finally shown her that he loved her...

Almost as though it had read his mind, the image morphed to another, a girl with golden hair and a large grin, wearing a pink coat and comically long white scarf.

The Romana he had loved even more, the kind and gentle one that was by no means any less brilliant. He stared at her golden hair and remembered what it was like to touch it…his hearts ached even more.

Tears rolled down his cheeks and he knew it had to end.

"That's still her, I killed her, stop it! Show me someone else! Someone who didn't break my hearts completely…"

A cycle began, starting with a young woman wearing leather skins…

"No! I killed her too!"

A boy with a silver star on his shirt…

"Dead, show me someone who is still alive!"

A woman with short dark hair and a strong brow, intelligent eyes boring into him…

"Barbara…I wonder if she and Ian…no, no time for that!"

A girl with a curvy figure and a dark bob…

"Peri, I abandoned her…I hope she's happy…"

A young man with a kilt and a kind face…

"I wish you didn't have to forget…those Time Lords never were the nicest…how is it fair that you had to forget all the things you saw?"

A girl with short, dark hair, and an innocent and thoughtful expression…

"Oh yes, my granddaughter, just show me her, why don't you?" He spat angrily, "The one I held back, and then pushed away when I realised, never even asking what she wanted…and then centuries later she died in my arms, surrounded by Daleks! Show me someone who I didn't kill, or desert…"

The voice interface changed again, and a pretty young woman with a bulky jacket stood staring at him with a blankness that was unnerving on a face so usually full of life and fire.

"Well, that's getting better, but no, she's gone now too, far too long gone now…and I think I made her too hard, she wasn't the innocent she had been at first…come on, there must be someone in the universe I haven't screwed up yet!"

Seven-year old Amelia Pond now looked at him, and nostalgia swept him up enough to stop remembering companions from long ago…

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><p><strong>So, I hope this was actually worth reading...hope you liked it. <strong>

**Please review!**

**-MayFairy :)**


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